& Nightmares

 Doing what you love and are passionate about the most is the scariest thing you could ever commit yourself to. Honestly, the late night thought of unaliving yourself is safer than actually chasing dreams. The allure of it all being over compared to teetering the line of homelessness can make some people do god awful and unimaginable things. Others have the ability to harness that energy and reach heights that leave the have nots stupefied.

 The other day I heard someone possibly smarter than me say “If you don’t chase your dreams you’ll just end up being a part of helping someone else's come true”. That was maybe two weeks ago from the time I originally started writing this and it's been absolutely jammed in my head to the point it may be considered mentally unwell. I'm almost certain that your thoughts have the ability to become things and I can't shake the thought that building a kingdom that doesn’t truly have your  best interest and well-being at heart is no longer worth bearing.

The sad part is that our society norms make it feel corny to even make such a bold statement. Which sounds even more crazy once you think on how this is the land of the free and home of capitalism. If Jeff Bezos and Mark Cuban can do it why can't the average middle class dweller at least get a fraction of the paper that’s already been printed and direct deposited from someone else's hard work?

 The imperfectness that exists in this duality builds a barrier of hate around my thoughts of liberation. And the sad part is it shouldn’t be like that at all. The internet drew us so close together we forgot how crucial it is to be a part of our communities in a way that allows for thoughts of a more purpose driven way of life to flow.

 Or perhaps this is  the exact thought the much more fortunate want us all to have. That way we can continue to keep their own dreams alive.

 It's almost as if we aren't  living in a system that allows us to infer upon what our actual dream is. Everyone can have dream-like aspirations. A new car. New house.A new loved one and new clothes. But for better or worse all of these things can be bought. Throughout being raised in the United States all these ideals are pushed as the normal things one should work hard and inspire to have.

 All of which can be boiled down to materialistic things that could be replaced. More seldom than not once you’re past a certain elementary age you're left to fend for yourself creatively and with that the corporate employee downward spiral ensues. For so many reasons why this spiral becomes so evermore inescapable  

 This makes it even scarier to pursue taking the time to even find what your personal dream may be. Some are simple and some complex but no matter the depth the daunting thought of an escape becomes a pit of unobtainable realities.

 It has  to be more than an inspiration that can devote us to make the leap into the pit just to have a chance at finding out what “purpose” we even serve to chase after .  

 Or just perhaps these aren’t our dreams but merely the happiness we are too numb to pursue.

Numb by the weight of our immediate needs. Numbed by how hard it is to survive in our communities without adding more obstacles to overcome. Numb by the idea of utter embarrassment one could face in the disgust of failure.

Some are believers that if you play stupid games you win stupid prizes. But no one considers actually following through on your stupid or dumb magnum opus until the light you have always felt inside is shined upon it and the mere cracks become courageous, daring, and bold realities .  

Unless the dream is just a dumb dream. Or maybe a majority of them are all dumb until proven otherwise. So rarely are we lucky enough to stumble into the perfect scenario where things just work out in your favor and happily ever after moves from the big screen at the movies and into your actual existence, living and breathing it on a daily basis. We idolize those that do to a magnitude possibly greater than the impact that is left after the person them self is no longer with us.

But nothing easy is worth having. Nothing you don’t question the very part of you that motivates yourself to try and try again isn’t even fun. Or exciting. Or worth the hours and hours of work, failures, and big and small wins. The more we as humans commit ourselves to ideas, work, or projects the investment levels rise and rise until it becomes either  to your detriment or an advantage that is for better or worse exploitable.

This is so sadly how capitalism leads us in so it can feed itself for its  unavoidable bloodlust  for more and more. Some fall victim to its lustful and sexy  vices and others fall into fortunes or at least  liberation while flirting with poverty. Some lucky few are able to accomplish this  feeling with no monetary gain at all and to that is an evergreen  feeling that even I am envious of because a simple life is all one could ask for.

 Dreams and youth get wasted on the young but there's nothing new under the moon and nothing older than the sun. As fleeting as dreams and achievements are able to come and go its better to have had the feeling of holding it in your hand and feeling it slowly dissipate through your fingertips as if grasping for grains of sand and breathing your last breaths of freedom. Although I would much rather have experienced that sensational feeling than to never once know what it is like to truthfully dwell in that realm of being, Perhaps it is a part of the primal  DNA of humans to chase such comparable highs and lows that come associated with the risk because without it do we not have free will?

 Innovation is at the heart of any industry and this plus  thumbs is what grants our upward mobility on our Earth to our kind from the beginning until now. Perhaps this is where that innate fame that comes from today's multi millionaires and billionaire class arises from. It probably was the same at the smell of the first human made fire and sight of the first wheel being rolled in motion.

 As the spread of the newest greatest and latest  grows rapidly so does the number of us that see opportunity in the chance to elevate ourselves off these various ideas that grow into business.

 As these industries grow and are able to employ more help, for better or  for worse the stipulations required to become a beneficiary  of these ideas begin to constrict in order to keep the desired outcome to the creators standard and vision.

 Those that are ostracized for the inability  to homogenize themselves either through glaringly hard work or some other means to rise to a livable rank in the workforce are left to find a way to fend for themselves to survive. Some may wish to thrive in his chaos for better or for worse. I just hope to pay my bills and do so with a feeling of love and passion.